Queen of the Heart

 

“Queen of the Heart.” 16″ diameter mandala wallpiece. Paper collage on assemblage of compact discs, finished with polyurethane varnish. Hanger fixed on back. $375.00

I sometimes fear that too much struggle in the creation of a work will violate its purity and integrity.  Time and experience have shown me, however, that each artwork has its own story and character, and that a piece born smoothly is not necessarily better than one over which I have worried.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to learn to like a work simply because it is so different from my expectation, unlike anything else I have made.  Rainer Maria Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, writes “We must assume our existence as broadly as we in any way can; everything, even the unheard-of, must be possible in it.  That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us:  to have courage for the most strange, the most singular, and the most inexplicable that we may encounter.

 In Queen of the Heart, the struggle for art and love unite.  I created the piece in 2009, near the end (of course I did not know that then!) of a four-year period of living alone without an intimate partner.  During that time I encountered many individuals who were cynical about the possibility of loving relationships; I myself sometimes struggled to keep my faith.  This mandala incorporates an earlier collage which I had to seriously refashion in order to create an aesthetic harmony in the piece.  It also incorporates texts that encouraged me to trust love, even in its winter; those include a stream of consciousness meditation on excerpts of 1 Corinthians 13, part of an e. e. cummings poem:  

love is the voice under all silences,/the hope which has no opposite in fear;/the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:/the truth more first than sun more last than star

and the important words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves, a book that has become like a bible to me.  Wisely she writes:  “Three things differentiate living from the soul versus living from ego only.  They are:  the ability to sense and learn new ways, the tenacity to ride a rough road, and the patience to learn deep love over time.”

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